So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
