so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize