bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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