Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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