So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
