omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
