I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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