hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I want her autograph on my taint
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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