Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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