girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
