My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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