what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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