I hate all girls vehemently.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
