I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
