I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
