As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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