We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
