i just had sex bonerless
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize