I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
