Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
