That's when you crack a 10am beer
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
