oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
