They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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