you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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