I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
