He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
