were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
