i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize
