i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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