Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
