ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
