Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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