can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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