sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
