rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
True strength comes from lack of pants
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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