these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
