I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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