I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize