I wanna passion pit in your ass
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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