I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
