I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
