Where did you get a picture of my penis
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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