Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
