Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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