No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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