Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Life is so much better after having sex.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
