Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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