I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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