took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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