so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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