what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
