I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
