So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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