Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
