Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize