Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
