I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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