Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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