Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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