this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
