Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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