Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
