Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
