If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
