he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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